(Continued from page 38) My first response to a question like, “Do you have any flexibility?” or “Is it negotiatble?” is often to try to get something in return just for answering that question. What I usually will want, if they haven’t already done so, is to have them put an offer on the table.

So I might respond with something like, “That depends. What did you have in mind?” If they refuse to answer the question or say they can’t, I might say something like, “It’s going to be very hard for me to think about flexibility if I don’t know just what kind of flexibility you’re looking for.”

At which point I will simply shut up, sit there, and wait for them to say something. And it often works. What I am doing is signaling.

I didn’t say no, I didn’t say yes, I didn’t even say maybe. What I really said was, “I’ll tell you if you put an offer on the table.” There’s a strong hint that I’m flexible but I haven’t yet admitted it. That’s what signaling is all about.

Frequently signaling is deliberate and intentional and planned, such as what I just illustrated. At other times, however, signals are just blurted out without really being an intentional signaling device. (Continued on page 40)